We spent the evening playing and jumping, tickling and hugging, laughing, coloring and watching cartoons before she feel asleep; her last night as a 4-year-old.
Thinking about my oldest daughter turning 5 tomorrow is insane. I know it’s a cliche, but I can’t help but wonder were the time has gone.
On this night five years ago, I was feeding my wife all sorts of funky food hoping to induce labor. Finally, early the next morning we made the drive to the hospital and later that day I held Izzie in my arms for the first time.
The doctor pulled her out and immediately handed her to me soaking wet. As I cleared away the fluid from her eyes and the rest of her face, her little eyes fluttered open and they were bright blue. And then, as we stared at each other, she smiled.
I can’t describe what I felt in that moment. It was a rush of feelings really; fear, joy, love, responsibility, ecstasy, smallness, greatness. But mostly, it was the first time I had ever felt such an utterly unconditional love for someone else. I knew in that moment I would do anything for her, that me and my selfish world didn’t matter anymore.
I still feel that way. Every time she looks at me with those bright blue eyes and tells me she loves me, that feeling is there. It makes me feel so small and powerless, that I am this little girl’s entire world. But I also feel thankful. Thankful that she’s mine. Thankful that I get to raise her and spend the next dozen or so years with her before she moves on into her own life.
Someone once said, “The days are long, but the years are short.” Well, I’m hoping to squeeze as many days out of these years as possible. Happy Birthday Izzie.